i d k

Its march 8th

and yesterday was august 16th

i swear it was.

i can't believe that my freshman year is almost over.

well there isn't anything new going on rn

other than i only have 132 days until i go to india.

and there is only 243 days until ezra gets home. 

thinking about going to india freaks me out

not because i am scared or anything

but more because andrea and sophia aren't going to be there. 

they are the two most amazing girls i have ever met

i know for a fact that if i need something i can call them

if i wanna talk i can call them

if i'm in town they will always make time for me.

and i love them so much. 

i do love my new team 

but as they always tell us.

its not going to be the same.

it wont be operation shaanti

its operation jeevan.

they are amazing and i love them so much.

but i'm still freaked out. 

thinking about summer freaks me out

i'm excited don't get me wrong but it means

i won't be a c17 girl anymore, 

i won't be living with my best friend anymore

and i won't live within 2 minutes of all my friends anymore.

that freaks me out.

plus C$ and Berbs won't be there 24/7 anymore.

and that freaks me out even more.

i really hate thinking about the future. 

because IT FREAKS ME OUT

can you tell? 

that's whats going on in my life. 

i am just freaking out. 

plus next semester so much is going to happen. 

I am going to start working towards my major,

ezra gets home. 

i will have to decide where to go for my junior year.

but i do get to live with my best friend again 

that puts me at ease!

she knows what to do to help me

from giving me socks to getting me meds and ice cream. 

and this post doesn't really make sense at all but 

sometimes i just need to get all the words in my head out.

even if they dont make sense. 

so here you go blogger world. 

here are my inner thoughts.

xoxo jordie