T O N S I L S

SUCK

please someone try and explain to me

the positive of having tonsils.

my entire childhood was strep

strep

strep

and more strep.

it was the worst. 

but not as bad as this past month.

i have had a sore throat,

a bad cough,

a sore throat,

upset stomach,

sore throat

and swollen tonsil.

lucky me right?

WRONG!

On Monday night I was crying until 

i got a blessing.

it was amazing because

he did it Russian because thats

all he has done it in. 

i still felt all the blessings 

as if it was in English.

the he told me he was going to

run to walmart and get me 

some food real fast because 

i needed to eat.

so he came back and made it for me.

he is such an amazing guy.

and i'm thankful for him!

but that didn't really help

so i asked kelsie and wyatt

to drive me home the next day.

instead of just going home for the 

doctors appointment.

probably a good thing i did.

because when i got up here 

i was tears,

tears at corner canyon

tears at doctor #1

tears at doctor #2

tears the whole night. 

but here is how it went down

i got up here and i went to CC

to my mom and was just in pain 

and wanted to die.

then we had to get my brothers

and that took forever and a year.

finally i got to the doctors. 

they gave me some meds to try and take. 

i basically throw them up.

and more tears..

by then i hate life.

but i finally proved to my mom

that I CANNOT FREAKING SWALLOW.

she was like drink water

eat something

you need to stay hydrated

and i straight up CANNOT.

one of the doctors said i needed a CT

of my neck to make sure they didn't miss anything

but then greenburg comes in and says

i have to get my tonsil lanced. 

and another doctor can do it right then.

so we go to doctor #3 for the day

and he squirts numbing stuff in my throat

that tastes like rotten bananas 

and felt like pop rocks on my tonsil.

then he stuck a needle in my tonsil 

making me gag

twice

but ya know he just kept going.

then i started spitting up blood.

nasty i know right? but it happened.

then he suctioned out a ton

and by a ton i mean A TON

of puss out of my tonsil.

and then it was over.

and i still hated life.

i got home and just wanted to sleep

but i had to take meds

and it was horrid because

it still hurt to swallow

but my mom forced me to eat beans

and the meds through my tears.

then i slept literally all day on tuesday.

because i couldn't handle it.

i woke up wednesday and it felt

okay to swallow but i still hated life.

and was still super weak.

i checked and i lost 10 pounds.. so thats cool. 

not.

but i went in for my check up and

my tonsil is still swollen so boo..

but then..i have to get my tonsils out asap

so now more than ever i need help 

to earn all of my YMAD money because

i lost a week of pay this week.

and will lose money in April because I can't work 

because i will have to recover.

so that really sucks.

but you know what doesn't suck?

when I will be done with 

tonsillar puss filled abscesses

tonsillectomies

and strep throat.

when i never have to deal with it again 

that will be the day it doesn't suck anymore..

but right now it kinda sucks. 

i can't eat solid foods yet

because it still takes 2 swallows 

to get simple liquids down..

ugh.

this has been my life.

and i am missing school

which also sucks because i need to be there

because finals start next week and lets just say 

i'm gonna be screwed!  

so thats my update..

 + i haven't been able to get up often
because i get dizzy and
my pain meds make me really tired
so i basically just sleep all day. ]

xoxo Jordie